What Am I Up To Anyway?

July 6, 2018
Asheville, NC

I got an email from a nice person wanting to know what I was up to these days. And rather than write her back, because what always happens then is that I plan on getting around to it really soon, like any minute now, or possibly tomorrow and definitely I’m going to answer my emails if not tomorrow then over the weekend and then what, a month has gone by? It’s too late to answer it now! Argh! I suck! I thought, ya know, what AM I up to these days? I will write a post! OK! I am going to start right off with marketing because, well, I need to get better at it and thus, PRACTICE.

GO SEE MY SHOW AT THE MALVERN. It is up through hmmm probably mid August so you have plenty of time BUT ya know things are selling fast (slight marketing exaggeration here uh you could fix this and turn it into TRUTH) and so if you go late in the month the INCREDIBLY CHEAP MUST HAVE PIECE YOU WANT might be _MG_3183.jpgGONE. THE HORROR. Look, here I am at my (small. Enormous thanks to the old friends who turned out. The rest of you? Owe me. And yes my feelings were in fact hurt. They remain hurt.) opening waxing artsy and looking like grim death herself, only fatter. (Although my hair? Much like the werewolf of London, it is perfect.)

The Malvern is a gastropub which means that the menu is diverse and yummy and not all deep fried, glory be, and also there is a menu and a nice wine list and beers on tap and many fancy cocktails. It’s only open in the evenings, 5 pm onwards and you can easily find it at 1478 Patton Avenue in West Asheville, the purple building more or less across from the Skylanes Bowling Alley which is the one with the banging mural of the Dude on it. There is a patio so you can sit outside and stare at the Dude or you could, of course, be taking in 81 AMAZING PHOTOGRAPHS BY MOI inside. Yes, EIGHTY ONE. That is how many photos I printed AND FRAMED in the last eight weeks. So I have been busy. To put it mildly.


Yup. I’m doing it. I’m moving to Astoria, Oregon just as soon as I possibly can, which means as soon as I fix up the house, get it on the market AND SELL IT. Once that happens, hopefully by the fall, I am getting back into Moby and Amelia, this time with two large elderly dogs and one cranky imperious cat and possibly one large adult son, and driving BACK ACROSS THE COUNTRY. Goodbye, Asheville, it’s been almost twenty years, not to mention my entire life before that spending at least a portion of almost every single summer in or around these old green tumbled mountains. I am ready to live somewhere every turn of the road doesn’t hold a memory and nobody I know is buried. I can’t handle the heat and the relentless sun and the politics anymore. I am very ready for cool gray foggy days and ocean wind and sea lions barking and I am excited.

It took me a few months back here to be sure I was making the right decision – it is a big one, to move across the country at the age of 55, with no job in sight and not much money on hand. It is large and alarming to leave behind my friends of all these years, not to mention my daughter. I’ve had the same gynecologist for 18 years! Good lord! But Asheville has changed kind of dramatically in the last decade or two and I guess I have as well – we don’t fit together anymore. I don’t feel at home here and I don’t feel like I have the community here I once did. And that’s sad but it’s also perhaps inevitable? I don’t know. I just know it’s time for me to leave and so, I am. The West Coast is calling and I am ready to answer.


SO IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BUY A BIG HOUSE IN WEST ASHEVILLE, SEND ME AN EMAIL. I WILL ANSWER IT PROMPTLY I SWEAR! However I am going full hog capitalist here despite my moral qualms, so be warned: it is not going to be cheap. I need to make enough money to buy an equivalent, or, actually smaller please, house in Astoria plus have a bit left over to stash away for my rapidly approaching old age. So yeah, not cheap by my standards but very possibly quite affordable by yours! For your money you would be getting a large lot as they are reckoned nowadays and a garage that could become a super cute studio apartment – really, I was always going to do that but never finished it – and a FOUR BEDROOM TWO BATH HOUSE in EAST WEST ASHEVILLE that just needs, um, some TLC. Some sorta major TLC but hey! It can be done! And there’s a great porch and natural gas stove and hot water heat and insulation like you would not believe and an artist created mosaic raised bed thriving vegetable garden out front. And because it is Asheville, there’s a grow room under the stairs that has been neglected and unused since I moved in ten years ago but which could easily be made alive again!

Anyway, thanks to Ellen for getting me to write this post. And thanks to all of you for reading it and, y’all, PLEASE GO SEE MY SHOW and tell me what you think. I am proud as hell, myself.



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